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God made the world
With a heart full of love
Then he looked down
From heaven above
And saw that we all need a
Helping hand ,
Someone to share with
Who will understand,
He made special with
to see us through
The glad times
And the sad times too;
A person on whom
We can always depend
Someone we can call a friend
God made friends
So we will carry a part of his perfect love
In all our hearts..........
What is friendship
The
words "Friend" & "free" come from the same root word, suggesting that one
aspect of the friendship is the freedom to be ourselves in the company of
another person. "A friend ," said Ralph Waldo Emerson, "is a person with
whom I may be sincere." Most friendships begin with shared interests or
activities, which gradually develop into mutual trust, openness,
affection, and loyality.
We like people who are similar to ourselves, who share our attitudes and
values. When someone agrees with us, or makes the same choices we do, we
gain confidence in our own views. proximity can also influence our choice
of friends, be they co-workers or neighbors. Most of us tend to enjoy the
companionship of the people of the same economic status and level of
education. As we become older and our experience grows, our expectations
of friendship change.
Sometimes we find ourselves attracted to people who are different and who
can provide us with a fresh perspective. A very reserved person and an
uninhibited person can often complement each other ; one friend gains a
sense of stability while the other achieves spontaneity. Yet , for the
relationship to endure, the "Opposite" friends may still need a common
bond, and perhaps find it in a shared activity or sense of humour.
Friends can help fill other needs-for self-esteem or for reaching one's
potential . When friends share an altruistic goal, such as a concern for
justice or the cultivation of the arts, they are fulfilling Aristotle's
description of "friendship of virtue".
Do we actually need friends?
There
are some cultures in which friendships are not valued. The Seri Indians of
northern Mexico, for example, have no word for friend, and friendly
relationship don't appear to exist among them. yet, the historical record
suggests that most human beings form
 alliances of one kind or another
beyond their immediate families. As a part of wider circle, the
individuals finds practical support. Today this still holds true. A
friendly neighbor may drive you to the doctor if you're sick ; a close
friend may claim you down during an emergency .
In fact, according to psychologists, contact with friends and family, and
affiliation with a club or religious group, can help you live longer.
Studies have shown that socially isolated people are not more likely to
experience a variety of health problems, including heart disease and
asthma, than people with many social contacts
Do some people need more friends than
others?
Some
people are happy with a few close friends; others have a tremendous number
of friends and are eager to have more. The musician Liberace is said to
have once held a party for 5,000 of his "closest" friends.
Adolescents, in particular, may feel they need many friends to show that
they are "popular", or socially approved and desirable. Friends are very
influential in adolescence, furnishing emotional support. Some groups of
friends set trends that others all too willingly follow.
What qualities are most valued in friendship?
Most highly
prized among all the attributes of friendship are loyality and trust. This
includes the ability to keep a personal confidence.
People like to be sure that they can rely on their friends in an
emergency, and they want to feel that their friends will stick by them
when the going is rough. And most people also expect that real friends
will be open and honest about their feelings and opinions. Many people
believe it is important to be able to share their jokes and sense of fun
with their friends.
Are friendship between women
different from those between men?
It's difficult
to generalize about male and female friendships. Among the many studies on
the subject, one showed that when with friends , women tend to talk about
family , health, weight, food, and clothing. The majority of men reported
discussing current events and sports.
Generally speaking, men are reserved about personal problems, and do not
air their insecurities even with friends of long standing. Women, on the
other hand, are less inhibited about seeking personal advice from their
close friends.
How do you maintain a lifelong friendship?
Many things works against a continuing friendship-moving away and the
demands of business and family, to name a few. while shallow friendships
fade quickly, an increase in affluence can also ruin a friendship. Though
generosity that cannot be reciprocated, wealthier friends may make their
old friends who have less money feel uncomfortable.
Many of us know people who resumed a friendship after years without
contact. But for most friendships to survive, friends must set aside time
for one another.
The activities that fostered the relationship in the
first place, such as fishing or other sports, are most likely to keep it
strong.
Maintaining a friendship requires time, energy, and thought. Many people
who live far apart have found that writing letters , telephoning,
E-mailing are effective in preserving a feeling of closeness. The
historian Henry Brooks Adams once wrote "One friend in a lifetime is much;
two are many; three are hardly possible.
Can friendship be
unequal?
Some "unequal" friendships, such as one between a teacher and a
student , may not be as unequal as they appear to be. According to Freud,
people of higher status are often amply rewarded by seeing in a younger
friend the person they used to be.
Peopel may also look for unequal relationships. Some like to play the role
of a child who always needs support. Others like to behave as though they
were parents , and look for friends with, apparently, more problems than
they have or with plently of obvious faults they can "correct".
Over the long run, friends usually need to feel that they are getting as
much as they are giving.
Are there degrees of friendship
In her book
Among friends, Letty Cottin Pogerbin identifies seven degrees of
friendship. "Acquaintances are the people you know by name or face,
'familiar strangers.' Neighbors are a special breed of acquaintance." They
can become friends but, even when no intimacy develops, we often rely on
neighbors. We look out for their house as they watch ours.
In a third category are confederates: people who serve a specific purpose.
They are, very often, unequal in status. A patron of the arts and a
painter might fit this description. Pals, in Pogerbin's system of
classification, are generally equals who enjoy some shared activity
without intimacy. Close kin are often overlooked in a discussion of
friends, but they are frequently among one's oldest, most intimate
friends.
Cow workers fall into the sixth category. They may be friends or not, but
it should be noted that cow workers deserve a separate category because,
"in terms of time, the people you work with every day probably see more of
you than anymore else does."
Last and best are true friends. "Friendship is a heart-flooding feeling,"
Pogerbin writes, "that can happen to any two people who are caught up in
act of being themselves , together, and who like what they see."
10 Golden rules of friendship
1. Money
matters act as speed -breakers in the smoothest of friendships.Don't get
into any borrowing or lending business with friends.The larger the
sum,greater the danger of its spoiling things.
2. Don't get involved with your friend's boyf/girlf. Don't cold shoulder
him/her, but don't act over familiar too.Unless,of course, everybody's
game.
3. Never ever reveal any secrets or anything that your friend told you
talking just you into confidence. Not even to another mutual close friend.
4. Even if you aren't friendly with someone any longer, the above
mentioned rule still applies.Friendship implies a great deal of
respect,trust, love, and so on for each other.And even if all that is no
longer there, you should keep shut for old time's sake, for what had been.
5. Don't borrow or lend anything of great value from friends. Like a bike
or an antique clock.
6. Friendships need to be nurtured , so stop talking each other for
granted all the time, every time.
7. Everybody talks and behaves in a certain with his/her friend, gives
gaalis (scoldings),swears, takes liberties. You have a certain equation
with your friend. But don't ever do that with your friend in another
person's presence.
8. A friend is not God. Even the closest of your friends may not
understand you or your needs all the time.They too need to be explained
about certain things at times.
9. your friend's not you. Respect his/her likes, dislikes,values,
attitude,wishes...
10. Everybody has their own life too. So don't expect your friend to be
there for you all the time at your beck and call for every small thing.
A to Z of friendship
A- CCEPTS YOU AS YOU ARE
B- ELIEVES IN "YOU"
C- ALLS YOU JUST TO SAY "HI"
D- OESN'T GIVE UP ON YOU
E- NVISIONS THE WHOLE OF YOU (EVEN THE UNFINISHED PARTS)
F- ORGIVES YOUR MISTAKES
G- IVES ANYTHING UNCONDITIONALLY
H- ELPS YOU IN ANY MOMENT OF LIFE
I- NVITES YOU OVER
J- UST "BE" WITH YOU
K- EEPS YOU CLOSE AT HEART
L- OVES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE
M- AKES A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE
N- EVER JUDGES
O- FFERS SUPPORT
P- ICKS YOU UP
Q- UIETS YOUR FEARS
R- AISES YOUR SPIRIT
S- AYS NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU
T- ELLS YOU THE TRUTH WHEN YOU NEED TO HEAR IT
U- NDERSTANDS YOU
V- ALUES YOU
W- ALKS BESIDES YOU
X- PLAIN THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Y- ELLS WHEN YOU LISTEN
AND
Z- APS YOU BACK TO REALITY
ABC's of friendship
# A is
for all the nice things you do for me.
B is for being there for me.
C is for coming to my rescue.
D is never deserting me.
E is for your eagerness to please.
F is for being quick to forgive.
G is for your generosity.
H is for extending a helping hand.
I is for your interest in me.
J is for not judging my every move.
K is for your kindness toward me.
L is for the love you have shown me.
M is for the many laughs we share.
N is for never gossiping about me.
O is for your openness
P is for always playing fair
Q is for the quiet times we share.
R is for the respect we have for each other.
S is for all the smiles you bring .
T is because you touch my heart.
U is for how well you understand me.
VV is because you are a vital part of my life.
W is for knowing when to speak and when not to.
X is for all the extra nice things you do.
Y is for giving of yourself.
Z is for the zip you add to my life.
Thank you for being my friend
. When things
are confused I discuss them with you until they make sense
when something good happens you are the first person I tell so,
I can share my happiness.
When I don't want to do in a situation I ask your opinion, and weigh it
heavily with mine when I am lonely I call you because I never feel
alone with you.
When I have a problem I ask for your help because your wisdom helps me to
solve it.
When I want to have fun I want to be with you because we have such a great
time together .
When I want to talk to I always talk to you, because you are so honest.
it is so essential to have you in my life .
Thank you for being my friend.....
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